KEEP (Men of the ESRB Book 2) Page 19

  Yes, I liked him. The sex was good, and I felt a warm glow of happiness with him. I thought we made pretty good boyfriends. But a lot had been sprung on me in the last few days. He already expected and believed we'd be husbands someday. But I wanted an equal partner, someone who could take care of me, too, not just need to be taken care of.

  Still, he'd protected me with his visions, taken me away from the danger, and he'd taken pity on me when I wanted to be in a relationship with him but was too scared to make the first move, or even believe a relationship was possible for me at all.

  A few months ago I'd have said I'd be happy if the impossible happened — that there was someone who liked me and wanted me enough to keep forever. Now it was quite possibly happening and all I could see were warning signs that it wouldn't work, or that I wouldn't like it if it did.

  Maybe I should forget about his visions for a little bit, since they were clearly freaking me out. I was happy with where we were right now, happy with Ell in my life. If I was stressed to my limit and didn't feel I had any comforting left in me. It had happened: we'd been through something tough. Maybe it would bind us together in the long run, but right now, it was really stressful.

  I was pretty worried about Kevin, and wondering who was out to get us, and if we'd be able to go back to our old jobs. And Ellery couldn't tell me any of that; he just slept there like a lump, his head sideways on his seat, mouth falling open, looking so fragile asleep . . .

  But I needed someone to tell me everything was going to be okay, damn it.

  I looked at him another moment, resentfully. Then I reached over reluctantly and moved his head a little, very gently, so he wouldn't get a crick in his neck.

  #

  It didn't take long to get things sorted out, after that. The days passed in a whirlwind. Ellery was quiet and more or less calm (on the outside), and I tried to be stoic instead of bouncing off the walls. I'm not sure if we fooled each other or the agents assigned to watch us, though.

  The safe house was a beautiful, stately house with wide white columns and a big porch, and a lovely back yard that had a fish pond and all kinds of greenery and a gazebo. It was lush. I worked on my tan and tried not to drive myself crazy wondering what was going on. Ell wandered the gardens or watched TV.

  We didn't feel like having a lot of sex when we were being so closely monitored.

  The second day we were there, Kevin called. Now free from the accusations and making inroads at fixing the company — fighting back, striking back hard and rooting out the troublemakers who had wanted him gone, and discovering why — he called me briskly. He seemed to be on top of things.

  "We want you back. The jobs are here and waiting, but let me make sure everything's safe first. You let the ESRB take care of you for now. I don't want you in more trouble or stress." Then he hesitated. "How's Ellery?"

  I didn't know what to say. "Stressed out, I guess? You sure we can't come back?" I realized I'd almost said 'home' and felt embarrassed. But it did feel like home, that lavish womb of a company building, where they took care of us, where Ell and I had met. I missed his sailor-themed room and I missed my room. I missed Kev. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and be sure he was really safe.

  "Soon," said Kevin. He was silent a second, as though he wanted to say something more.

  I couldn't read him over this distance, and it made me feel uneasy, like something was off-balance, wrong. Missing. My sixth sense, I thought, and gripped the phone, shifting uncomfortably.

  "What is it, Kev?" I asked very quietly.

  "I want you to know I'm going to take care of you. It probably sounds silly, but I won't let you down, Peter. I'll make it safe again. You'll never have to flee again. You're mine, and I'm never going to let anyone hurt you. I'm sorry they got this close."

  Tears prickled at my eyes. It sounded strange, maybe, but it was exactly what I'd needed to hear. Exactly.

  "Thanks, man." I wiped at my eyes. "I know it's not your fault. Or Ell's, or anything. I just want to come home."

  "You will." His voice was soothing, and I believed him when he sounded so sure. "Till then, can you look after Ellery? The last time his schedule was messed up in a big way — and it wasn't in any way this bad, just an overseas flight followed by a visit from one of his family members — he got into a bad state. He stopped eating and sleeping, couldn't function. I remember him crying in his bed and us having to go in there and practically pry him out and make him get a checkup, then take strong sleeping pills just so he could get some rest, and then a lot of extra counseling, a nutritionist, all of it. This is bound to have thrown him for a loop."

  I felt a prickle of unease. "I guess I should tell you we, uh, we started dating."

  Kevin was silent for a beat. I hoped he didn't think I was taking advantage of Ellery, like he was some fragile, incompetent creature. It sounded like Kevin had seen him at his worst. "I thought you already were," he said awkwardly.

  "Oh." I could've laughed in relief. Instead, I just grinned, since that didn't show over the phone line. I curled my toes, feeling good. "Well, we are now. It's . . . I hope things will . . . yeah. I like him," I said, sounding small and shy even to my own ears. Did I want his approval?

  "Good," said Kevin. "And I know he likes you. Listen, don't take this amiss, but would you consider talking to a counselor together sometime? It couldn't hurt, and it might help the relationship."

  Good old Kev, always trying to fix things. "I'll think about it. Thanks."

  Maybe it wasn't a bad idea. After all, why wait till things were broken and try to patch them up?

  After we finished talking, I hung up and went to find Ell. I missed him, and was worried about him now. I hadn't realized how worried and stressed about Kev I had been till I heard his voice and knew he really was safe. Kev had already become a constant in my life, someone I relied on. It had freaked me out to have that taken away. I felt safe with him — and I felt better now that I knew he was okay, and lighter knowing he approved of my relationship with Ellery.

  Ell was sprawled on the couch, watching TV in a disinterested way, his eyes a little glazed. He wasn't really thinking anything, although a vague unease hung over him. I nudged him a little to make room for me. We fit side by side stretched out on the couch; we were fairly slim and the couch was big. I put an arm around him, even though it was kind of awkward.

  He looked at me then. "What?"

  I saw the lines of stress around his face and eyes, making him look older, worried. But I saw none of the desperation or the breaking down that Kevin had witnessed. Maybe he was really okay.

  "Kev's doing well, but he was worried about you," I said, stroking his hair back a little.

  Ellery's mouth twitched into a tight, bitter line. "Oh, please tell me you're not going to become my keeper. I don't want you to watch out for me! I — I want a boyfriend!"

  His words, even his flare of temper, reassured me immensely. I must have smiled, because he gave me a little shove, looking pissed off. "And don't coddle me or humor me! You think I'm — you think you have to lie to me? Well, that's not fair! I can't lie to you, but that — that doesn't mean I would! But you're trying to, aren't you?" He crossed his arms over his chest, his gaze indignant and a little damp.

  "No, no. What's this about? I want a boyfriend too, not a charity case or something." I stared at him and spread my hands. "What am I lying about?"

  He searched my gaze. "You—" His bottom lip trembled. "I thought m-maybe you blamed me. That you wanted out of it but didn't want to break up with me while we were stuck here." He indicated the beautiful house that often unreasonably felt like a prison.

  I shook my head. "I have my doubts and worries, yeah. There's a lot to figure out. But I like you." I met his gaze squarely. "It's really scary sometimes. Kevin actually said we should get counseling — and maybe he's right. Why wait till there's problems? Let's learn to communicate now. It's not like we can't afford it."

  He nodded slowly.

&nbs
p; I nudged my arm around him all over again. "But, Ell, I can't see myself breaking up with you. Have I mentioned I like you? Yeah. Well, I do. I think I'll keep you around. At least for now." I gave him a wink to show it was a joke, and then gently kissed his shoulder.

  He melted against my side like he was born to fit there. Sighed. Nestled closer, and let his hand wander down my thigh — and up again.

  Mm. I could go with some of that. Our keepers would just have to not spy on us unless they wanted to see a show . . . I turned to kiss him properly.

  My heart thudded nervously. It was so precious and so unnerving at the same time. Being with Ell wasn't just about sex. I was scared of the deep waters he stirred up in me, the passions that had always, always, come back to bite me in the ass, even when they weren't nearly so deep and profound. I couldn't keep myself from caring about him, and I didn't want to. And those two things together scared the shit out of me.

  But I wasn't running. He was stuck with me.

  We'd make it; we'd figure it out. I was almost sure now.

  If my mind flitted ahead to unpleasant possibilities — we couldn't really, his visions were wrong, or right but in the wrong ways — then we'd have to deal with that in the future.

  For now, the fun we had together was good, the sex was good, Ell was a sweet boyfriend, and I cared about him more than I liked to admit, even though it was still a new relationship.

  A lot had changed in the last year. I'd made friends, found work I liked, developed my talent as a gift instead of a curse, and found a beautiful, caring, and sexy man who wanted to keep me — who really loved me.

  It was enough; it was more than enough.

  He smiled as he kissed me, his mouth quirking into a sweet smile that made me want to do dirty things with him and to him.

  "I can almost hear you thinking too hard," he whispered. And then he pulled me over to roll on top of him and caught hold of my hips very firmly. "Stop it."

  And then he kissed me again.

  the end

  coming soon: more about Pete and Ellery in SURE

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  also by the author:

  SAFE

  Afraid of being outed, Neil Hunter, "Hunt," dreads meeting the new "human lie detector" at the precinct — a registered empath who can sense truth and falsehood.

  But Skyler Zane is more of a mess than any closeted cop could ever be, with an abusive ex and a history of mental issues. And instead of avoiding him, Hunt ends up taking him under his wing, looking out for him.

  And maybe falling for him, too. Everything is going well — including their unexpected feelings for each other — until Sky's skills come to the wrong attention. Now it's up to Hunt to find him — and figure out how to keep them both alive.

  Buy links:

  US: www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00WBMKZAU

  UK: www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B00WBMKZAU

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